What We Always Do: The Value of Family Traditions
I came across something I wrote five years ago on Valentine’s Day that included this gem of a conversation between then seven-year-old Bridger and five-year-old Landon:
“Is God married?” Bridger wondered with a giggle.
He considered this a very funny and bold kind of question. But it didn’t faze his brother. Landon leaned back, put his hands behind his head and without missing a beat offered up his assessment of the situation.
“God’s not married. He’s too old. He waited too long.”
Yes indeed, Valentine’s week used to be a time when little boys put good theology aside to try on the roles of romantic comedians and love experts. It was a time of crafting homemade Valentines and checking the mailbox for red envelopes arriving from Minnesota, the land of loving grandparents. And it was above all else—don’t forget!—a week where the menu must include heart-shaped pizzas and some sort of fabulous Valentine-themed dessert.
Why? Because it’s what we always do.
It is what we did then.
It is what we do now.
The kids wouldn’t have it any other way.
My favorite heart-shaped pizza picture of Landon from 2016.
Andrew and I have learned that we have to be careful. If we do something twice, it instantly becomes a beloved tradition, something we always do; the front-step photo shoot on our anniversary, birthday slideshows, jazz music and candles on Friday nights, football feasts during the big game, Chinese buffets when we travel. Pretty much anything can become something that we “always do.”
Is that good? Is it bad? Is it silly? For a while I wasn’t sure. But as the years pass by, our traditions—the things we “always do” to mark occasions, celebrate holidays, and honor each other—have created an underlying rhythm to our life. The rhythm is predictable, beating familiarity into seasons of change. It is memorable, marking time and forming a framework for storing memories. The rhythm, comprised of the simple things we always do, provides a steady cadence that keeps us in step together.
So here we are again with Valentine’s Day upon us. It doesn’t matter if I’m craving chicken or have leftovers in the fridge. On Valentine’s Day we make heart-shaped pizza.
Why? Because that is what we always do.
The kids wouldn’t have it any other way.
And neither would I.
